“Silence is the language of God.
All else is poor translation” Rumi
“Silence gives answers”
This week, we were asked to carve out time for silence.
Ideally 72 hours.
I long for it.
I’m afraid of it.
I immediately thought of all the reasons I couldn’t – right now.
- Peak season for work.
- Need to situate the team.
- Need to respond to client needs.
- Have to play tennis on 5 teams.
- Have to show up for dance practice.
- Can’t really explain this to my boyfriend.
- What about my parents worrying?
I did exactly what they said I would do. I made excuses to not do the silence activity- right now.
And yet, all I want is to be alone and face myself.
REEEEAAAAALLLLLLLY turn inward.
Shut out any of the S***.
Be free of the noise.
Just be peaceful.
*To be fair, I have way more good noise than bad, but let’s be real either way you flip it, I’m overstimulated right now and feeling a bit like a hamster on a wheel that has the radio on, t.v. in the background and fb notifications going off…
IT is NUTS.
So I’m excited for this.
But scared too…
What will I find when I get there? What is waiting for me in the quiet?
Has anything really mattered to this point?
Is what I’m doing even that relevant?
But maybe not.
Maybe what I think I want isn’t even what I want…
I think I’m good there.
I’m betting that what I’m really going to face is the part of my mind that wants to “keep me safe” and is really just holding me back.
I bet what I’m really going to face is me.
I guess we’ll see because the plan is the end of March: 36 hours to start.
And then after that I go to 48 in April.
Hold me accountable would you?
Because I know whatever or whoever is there in the silence is what/who I need to meet next.